I love reading your column, its revelatory. I teach little kids and they wear superhero clothes to school (or tutus, or princess tiaras) all the time. Would be great to reclaim some of that.
Learning how to dress comes not just after losing weight, but other body alterations too. I had to have my chest rebuilt after breast cancer. The plastic surgeons assumed I'd want to go big. But I was a big girl before, and I didn't want to go back there. I also didn't want implants. the compromise was to rebuild out of other parts of me. The last three years I haven't thought about my looks so much, just focused on healing and keeping my job. I gained some weight in the process as I was too ill to exercise and so on. Now I'm better and I'm asking myself the kind of questions you ask. I avoid cameras. I avoid clothes shopping. I definitely need your newsletter!
Alison, thank you for sharing a little of what you’ve been experiencing. I’ve been thinking about other needs and how I could address them. For example, I recently told a doctor about what I was doing and she just started sharing all kinds of ideas for people with lipedema. I’m glad to hear you’re getting something out of this.
I'm curious to know what you think of the book, if you think about sharing as you read it.
Regarding how size impacts identity shift: It is really complex. Everything from the kinds of clothes you have available to you, to the way people perceive you. In my case I'd long given up on trying to use clothes to express my identity or to help set a first impression. I'd never thought about aligning my clothes to my values - there just aren't a lot of plus size clothes that are made ethically, and a lot of plus size clothes aren't made to last. (And when you think about it, not many people want plus size clothes to last -- so many people in larger bodies hope their size is temporary.)
Shaun, How much weight do you define as "a significant amount" to lose? Over 50? Over 100? Over 5 dress sizes? I'm trying to see if I can join your community. : ) As a short person, weight loss looks different on me than a taller person losing the same amount. I'm only down about 25 pounds, but because I've been going to the gym, seriously, for a year and a half, I'm down 4 "dress" sizes. My goal today is one more size by the end of the summer... knowing that I'm spending a month in Italy this summer, too.
Hi Laurl! There are no specific weight requirements for joining! :)
When I started this newsletter I wanted to specifically reach out to people who've had some kind of medical weight loss, but as I've been writing I've realized that many other people have similar issues, including people who have less to lose, and also people who are at a higher weight and are happy and feel good. So, welcome!
This really resonated with me. I have a “uniform” of blue denim jeans, a black t-shirt and usually a black hoodie. I do have more colourful summer dresses, but, in England, I don’t get much chance to wear them. I know it’s psychological and because I don’t want to stand out but I would love to wear more colours, and gradually overcome my discomfort.
Good luck on your new adventure and I hope you can find clothes that express who you are and are comfortable ❤️
I love reading your column, its revelatory. I teach little kids and they wear superhero clothes to school (or tutus, or princess tiaras) all the time. Would be great to reclaim some of that.
Learning how to dress comes not just after losing weight, but other body alterations too. I had to have my chest rebuilt after breast cancer. The plastic surgeons assumed I'd want to go big. But I was a big girl before, and I didn't want to go back there. I also didn't want implants. the compromise was to rebuild out of other parts of me. The last three years I haven't thought about my looks so much, just focused on healing and keeping my job. I gained some weight in the process as I was too ill to exercise and so on. Now I'm better and I'm asking myself the kind of questions you ask. I avoid cameras. I avoid clothes shopping. I definitely need your newsletter!
Alison, thank you for sharing a little of what you’ve been experiencing. I’ve been thinking about other needs and how I could address them. For example, I recently told a doctor about what I was doing and she just started sharing all kinds of ideas for people with lipedema. I’m glad to hear you’re getting something out of this.
As someone who writes about shifting identity through our clothes, I’ve not considered that the size of our body would limit that shift.
I find this conversation fascinating and thanks for sharing Shakaila Forbes-Bell’s book. I will be purchasing it.
I'm curious to know what you think of the book, if you think about sharing as you read it.
Regarding how size impacts identity shift: It is really complex. Everything from the kinds of clothes you have available to you, to the way people perceive you. In my case I'd long given up on trying to use clothes to express my identity or to help set a first impression. I'd never thought about aligning my clothes to my values - there just aren't a lot of plus size clothes that are made ethically, and a lot of plus size clothes aren't made to last. (And when you think about it, not many people want plus size clothes to last -- so many people in larger bodies hope their size is temporary.)
I’m going to order the book. Let’s keep the conversation going. You’re showing me how deep and complex it is.
I’d enjoy that.
Shaun, How much weight do you define as "a significant amount" to lose? Over 50? Over 100? Over 5 dress sizes? I'm trying to see if I can join your community. : ) As a short person, weight loss looks different on me than a taller person losing the same amount. I'm only down about 25 pounds, but because I've been going to the gym, seriously, for a year and a half, I'm down 4 "dress" sizes. My goal today is one more size by the end of the summer... knowing that I'm spending a month in Italy this summer, too.
Hi Laurl! There are no specific weight requirements for joining! :)
When I started this newsletter I wanted to specifically reach out to people who've had some kind of medical weight loss, but as I've been writing I've realized that many other people have similar issues, including people who have less to lose, and also people who are at a higher weight and are happy and feel good. So, welcome!
This really resonated with me. I have a “uniform” of blue denim jeans, a black t-shirt and usually a black hoodie. I do have more colourful summer dresses, but, in England, I don’t get much chance to wear them. I know it’s psychological and because I don’t want to stand out but I would love to wear more colours, and gradually overcome my discomfort.
Good luck on your new adventure and I hope you can find clothes that express who you are and are comfortable ❤️
Thank you! I hope you find some colors you enjoy wearing.